True heartbreak was one of the best things to ever happen to me

No one has ever been so keenly aware of their hearts’ ability to produce physical pain than someone who’s been cheated on.

Only someone who’s experienced true heartache and knows the pain that runs through the body, up to the head, where traces of it leak out through the eyes, bubbling over, pouring out the nose and running back into their mouths, forcing them to taste their sorrow all over again.

Real heartbreak like this, the kind that makes you feel like the air has been sucked out of you and the only position your body can muster is a ball on the floor, changes you.

Like a broken bone, it heals over time, but the scars of it never fade. We’re reminded of this pain every time we look down, every time we think of the traitors who let us bleed out on the ground in front of them. Our wounds may heal, but we will never forget.

But just because you can’t forget doesn’t mean you can’t move on. While cheating may feel like it just about killed you, it’s as Friedrich Nietzsche, then Kanye West, famously quoted, “That which does not kill us only makes us stronger.” And this isn’t some old adage to make you feel better, it’s the truth.

When the heart breaks that way, shatters into a million pieces, then reforms slowly, over time, it’s coming back stronger. You may be bedridden for months, think about it for years, but one day, you will feel better and your heart will be better for it.

Only those who have experienced deep, emotional pain can evolve into stronger, more stable people.

Because it takes real, true heartbreak to teach us. Only those who have experienced the pain of it can write about it, sing about it and understand it. It opens up an entire portal we never understood before. It creates empathy for others who will go on to feel that same pain.

It shows us another side, admits us to another group, the group of the broken-hearted. Only after being cheated on do we understand what all those songs are about.

Only after experiencing real heartache do we understand what all those sad scenes in movies finally mean. Only after the pain of loss can we understand the pain of others.

While you should never wish infidelity on yourself, you also shouldn’t bow to it. Because like any difficult trauma in life, there are lessons to be learned. Being cheated on may just be the best thing that can ever happen to you because it teaches you more than most people learn in a lifetime.

People might not always tell you how they feel, but they’ll always show you.

You can’t rely on words. Words can be as empty as the people who hold them. A brutal life lesson of being cheated on includes the realization that people lie. People deceive. People cheat. Just because people say they love you, it doesn’t mean they actually mean it.

It’s only through actions that we can gauge the true motives and feelings of others. Learning to judge others on how they act, rather than what they say, will save you years of misinterpretation and living like you’re in a continual game of Pictionary.

Sometimes, fate makes the best decisions for us.

You may have loved that person, but that doesn’t mean you were meant to be with him or her. While no one wishes to be cheated on, sometimes it’s a necessary course of action in a relationship that wouldn’t end any other way.

It was fate that you caught them or fate you found out, and sometimes, being cheated on teaches you that things happen for a reason; in the end, there’s really nothing you can do. Everything happens for a reason and because you couldn’t see the kind of people they were, fate showed you instead.

The first person you need to love in your life is yourself.

Once you’ve experienced the pain someone can inflict on you and the loss that comes with wrapping your love in someone else before your own, you understand the necessity of loving yourself before anyone else. There’s no way you can get over the pain of losing someone you love — or thought you loved — unless you have yourself to go back to.

We need our own love more than anyone else’s and being cheated on brutally teaches us that, at the end of the day, the most important relationship we should have is the one we have with ourselves.

Always be prepared for the worst — and never get too comfortable.

While you shouldn’t keep yourself guarded from experiencing the joys of a new relationship, you should always hold the reminder that people do have the power to hurt you. Love is, many times, a game. Playing smartly and making sure you’re not going in completely vulnerable is important. It’s as important to maintain your own feelings as it is to share them with someone.

You can (and will) get over pain.

That initial breakdown, the first days, weeks and months, make it seem like this pain has the power to kill you. You feel like any moment your heart will just stop all together and your tears will drown you and your sobs will choke you.

You feel like your life will never be the same again, that you will carry this pain with you forever. But slowly, over time, you begin to heal and with that healing comes the understanding that nothing is forever, not even your pain.

Trust is something that people must earn.

We grew up believing that people are inherently good until we’re forced to see the bad. It’s not until people have done us wrong that we understand not everyone is to be trusted. Trust is something the unscathed give away freely, but only those who have felt the pain of betrayal know that trust is something that must be earned.

We’re fragile; letting someone into our small, breakable worlds shouldn’t come with a free entrance.

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Is God Speaking to You?

I recently had my faith challenged. And yes, I found myself caught a little off guard. I wasn’t sure how to respond to him when he asked, “Jenna, how do you know when God is talking to you?” That question in itself is hard to comprehend, let alone trying to explain the answer to someone. I gave him the best answer that I could and just simply said that you have to be willing to hear him. After getting this question, I have not been able to forget it.

I wanted to make sure that next time, I was prepared with an answer that hopefully would make sense and maybe even change someone’s life.

So here it goes….

We are living in a day when we need to be certain that God is directing our lives. We get His answers for what we are facing in our lives when the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of truth, speaks into our spirits and transmits the “overcoming” victory of Jesus.

If you want to clearly hear the voice of the Lord, you must create an atmosphere for the Holy Spirit to talk to you. You must also develop your listening abilities so that you are able to distinguish among all the competing voices in and on the earth (there are an infinite amount). This is essential for you to live a Godly life.

God wants you to know His will. But for Him to reveal it to you, there has to be an open line of communication. Wouldn’t it be great if God decided to use billboards to talk to us? Just think, we could drive down the road and God would simply choose one of a billion billboards to get our attention. There we’d be with a mapped out message straight from God. Pretty cool, huh?

Or what about something a little more subtle? What if every time that we veer off course, God were to simply tap us on the shoulder? Well there’s some food for thought. God smacking people around whenever they don’t do as they are supposed to. I am afraid that we’d all be walking around in a daze from all the “shoulder tapping” activity.

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Hearing from God is a learned skill….Of course, you could be one of the lucky ones like Moses, who was walking up the mountain, minding his own business, when he stumbled upon the burning bush. Most of us don’t have those kinds of encounters so we find ourselves looking for skills to help us hear from God. Here are just a few ways that we can tell if God is speaking to us. 

Through His Word 
In order to actually “hear” from God, we have to know some things about God’s character. We have to develop an understanding of who God is, and the way he does things. Fortunately for us, God put together a “roadmap” for us containing all the information that we will ever need. The Bible. The Book goes into a lot of detail about how you can expect God to react, what kinds of expectations He has for us, and most specifically, how he expects us to treat other people. It’s actually a pretty good book, given its age.

Other People
Many times God will use other people to try to get through to us. It’s possible for God to use anyone at any time.

Our Circumstances
Sometimes the only way God can teach us something is to allow circumstances in our life to lead us to andthrough the very thing we need to discover.

The Small Voice Inside Your Head
Most of the time God uses a tiny voice inside us to let us know when we’re not on the right path. Whenever we’re contemplating something and we don’t have peace about it, it’s a very good idea to stop and carefully look at the options. There’s a reason you don’t feel peace about it. And then there is the actual voice.Sometimes we’re able to “hear” something in our spirit that sounds to us like an actual, real life voice. Or all of a sudden, you just know you heard something. Pay attention to those occasions because it is very likely God trying to tell you something.

God uses lots of things to talk to us. But actually hearing from God isn’t so much a matter of if he’s talking, but rather, whether we’re listening.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.”

-Psalm 37:4-5

just a little reminder

Amen! And don't forget it! There is no worldly thing that can take the place of your Jesus!!

too many times I have found myself frustrated with God because I feel as if there is not going to be anyone out there for me….no one to “save me” and give me that fairytale ending that all girls dream of. I have to remind myself that God has someone special in store for me…in His time and in His time only. And in the meantime I have to constantly remind myself that Jesus is my SAVIOR. He has already saved me. He gave His life up for me and honestly, that should and IS enough for me. I am also reminding you. Jesus is eternally YOURS and He paid the ultimate sacrifice for you. Never forget that. 

Praise be to God †

He will never fail you

Jesus replied, “You don’t understand now what I am doing but someday you will.”

– John 13:7

For some people trust is easy. Other people might be called control freaks. Hi, I’m one of those other people. My whole life I have been in a wrestling match with God. In the Old Testament when Jacob wrestled with the Lord it says he refused to let go until God gave him what he wanted, a blessing. I have wrestled with God about the path he has put me on. I’ve asked Him for things: to take away my pain or sorrow, to step in and fix everything, to take control and yet…I won’t give it up. I issued empty prayers.

I know as a Christian that I should ask God for help, that I should give it up to him. Unfortunately head knowledge and emotion don’t cooperate sometimes. If I were to meet with a counselor I would probably figure out all the reasons that I struggle with trust. Among the wreckage you could find a girl broken by a guy whom she gave her whole world to, a battle with depression, disappointment and confusion, a girl whose friends turned their backs on her one too many times. What is heartbreaking is the truth that no matter what has happened in the past I am the daughter of the one, true King. My God came to Earth, lived a human life, died, and rose from the grave…for me. So no matter what happened I should be able to trust with open hands. Open hands give everything they have, but they are also fully able to accept what is given back to them. I pray for each of you that struggles with trusting the Lord with her life. I pray for you with an understanding heart because it is my biggest struggle as a child of God. I pray for the reminder of John 13:7. One day we will stand before Him in heaven and we will understand. I also hope to encourage you that every time I have failed to trust Him, He has never failed to prove His love for me. He won’t fail you either. God bless you all in the New Year and may it be one of deeper trust for us all!

Create something better

The people that you want most in your life are sometimes the people you’re best without. Until you learn to let go…you’ll never understand that there was no point in holding on. Until you learn to let go…you’ll never understand that you deserve better. Too often we make the mistake of trying to create a lifetime relationship with a seasonal person. Everyone who comes along isn’t always meant to stay. Let go and learn the lesson. Stop trying to hold on hoping the mistake will correct. You just have to learn to let go and realize that everything isn’t meant for forever.

Sometimes you just have to turn the page to realize there’s more to your book of life than the page you’re stuck on. Stop being afraid to move on. Close the chapter of hurt and never go back and re-read it.  It’s time to get what your life deserves and move on from the things that don’t deserve you. Don’t try to fix what’s been broken in your past, let your future create something better.

This is something that I preach to myself time after time after time so yes I am secretly just preaching to myself here but think about it. There is no reason to be holding yourself back from living life to the fullest just because of something or someone of your past. Move past that stage of your life and realize that God has something bigger and better out there to help you begin a new chapter. Trust trust trust Him and He will prosper you. The bible says soooo 🙂  Jeremiah 29:11

have a blessed night ya’ll

jenna

God’s Plan vs Your Own

For some of you, you’ve always had a plan or at least some bit of an idea of what you wanted your life to look like. That’s not the case for everyone but for me personally, I have always had an idea of what my life was to look like.

Starting at a young age, between each and every sport injury that I have encountered, I have always seen myself as growing up and becoming a physical therapist. Throughout high school, that was where I thought that my passion was. I wanted to help people to be able to move past their injuries and get back to doing what they love , whatever that may be.

It wasn’t until this past year, what should have been my Junior year of college, did I realize that God had a different plan in mind for me.

I got to a point in my life where I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do with my life. I was confused because I thought that I had it all figured out.  I wanted to be a physical therapist. So that’s what I set out to do only to get the door slammed in my face time after time.  I became angry with God. I began to question and doubt Him because I felt like everything that was happening was His fault…turns out it was mine. I wasn’t living for Him, I was living for myself.

But now, everything makes sense. I thank God because now I realize that He had something bigger in store for me. Through answering the call to the mission field that God has placed on my heart, it has opened my eyes to what I am confident is my purpose in my life. Occupational Therapy isn’t necessarily MY direction of life, but it is God’s. I strongly believe that through all the obstacles, through all the frustration, that where I am now in life is where I am meant to be.

God was simply just saying , “Hold on Jenna, I just want you to have faith and look at where I will take your life. Trust me daughter, I have a plan for you.” He was working for me, even when everything, including myself, was working against me.

I am trusting God to lead my life. He’s in control now. There is a calming in my heart now. I know where my life is meant to be and what I am meant to do.

This video inspires me. . .

occupational therapy + foreign countries where there are people especially CHILDREN (my passion) in need of hope? Um , yes please. Count me in 🙂 God is good!

My advice to you?

Fight through whatever struggle you’re facing and reach that mountaintop. Don’t let that struggle  make you quit in life and don’t let that struggle allow you to turn your back on that one person who has your back and that is God. He has a plan. Trust Him.

God has a plan to let you shine bright 🙂

until next time,

jenna